AP lowkey turn me into a narcissist

From outside, my family looks quite normal, we’re considered medium/ high class in my country but there’s always something off and I can’t figure it out. They want me to get married but they used to judge my ex, my friends. They often talk about living standard and what I should do.

Of course I don’t care about their opinion at all, but somehow I low key turn into a narcissist and I despise everyone I know. I have to bear their overthinking, useless argument and toxic conservative to the point I just want to shave my head and become a monk. This’s also one of the reasons I don’t want to get into relationship or think about married life and the result - I’ve been living alone for nearly 10 years. Now I look back and I realize I have like 15 cousins from both sides, and only one cousin got married. The rest don’t even have bf or gf. I bet this toxic trait run in the family for too long and they just can’t see it that outside everyone act like open minded people but deep down, they’re all toxic, conservative and judgemental.