AITA for bringing my daughter to my own child-free wedding?
UPDATED:
So my husband (M29) and I (F27) just recently got married. We spend almost a year planning the perfect wedding, taking the right precautions, etc.. One of our first rules that we decided was that it was a no-kid wedding. We wanted an environment where we wouldn't have to worry about children running around, getting into things, crying, etc.. We made it very clear on our invitation that we didn't want anyone to bring children under 14. We did however decide that we wanted to bring our daughter (11 months), and I wanted to hold her during the reception and photo taking, and then have a family friend drive her home and wait for the babysitter to get there before coming back. Before we settled on that friend, we asked a few people. One of the people we asked was my husband's close friend, Darren's, wife Jessica (fake names). She declined because she didn't want to drive, which worked out fine as we were able to find someone else. So on the day of our wedding, after we told everyone several times about the no kids rule, she showed up with her 4-year-old. I was obviously taken aback, but I went to ask her about it. She told me that "since I was bringing my kid, it was okay if she took hers". Honestly, I was furious. I tried to stay calm and tell her that this is a child-free wedding and she can't let her kid run around, but if she took her kid home she was welcome to come back. She started yelling at me about how since I had a kid it wasn't fair that she couldn't have hers. Her son at this point was already climbing on things, as she just let him run free. I told her that this was her last chance or she'd need to leave. She rolled her eyes, sat down in a chair, and just watched her son run wild. Eventually, her husband Darren convinced her to get her kid and leave, but it ruined the whole first part of my wedding. It's been a few weeks now and I've been thinking, maybe I am in the wrong? I said no kids at my wedding but brought my own. A lot of people in my life are also saying it was hypocritical at the least. So, AITA?
UPDATE🔽12/10/24
Wow, I was not expecting this to gain this much traction. Darren, Jessica's husband, found this post. He knew it was obviously about them, so he apologized on both of their behalf. Jessica however was furious. It's only been a few hours since she messaged me. I haven't responded yet, seeking advice. Here's her text pasted here;
"Jessie, you are disgusting. Posting our private business online for everyone to see? Really? That honestly just proves how immature you are. "Darren", might be sorry, but I'm not. I have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I wanted my son to be there for you on your special day, and I thought you'd appreciate that. You're making your child a spoiled brat, excluding every other child but her. You using fake names just proves you're just scared of us and didn't want us to see this. You're making my son seem like a monster for just being a child. I thought I was your best friend. If I was welcome, he should've been too. Honestly, at this point, I'd rather you just tell me you don't care about or respect me and my family to my face. And the comments? Jeez.. I mean you were really just looking for pity, weren't you? You knew the chronically online teens of Reddit would obviously back you up, and that's all you wanted. I'm betting you'll post this too, so hi Reddit!"
She sent several other messages about my personal health and sensitive topics that weren't relevant to her behavior at all, I'd assume just to make me feel bad. I really don't know what to say to her. I still love her and care about her, but I don't know whether to try to mend this or cut her off?
FINAL UPDATE:🔽12/22/24
Hello again reddit! I should've updated this sooner, but here's what happened.
I have decided to cut contact with, Jessica. I haven't blocked her, but that's for work reasons. I don't text her unless its for work, and even then I try to keep it short. She's tried to apologize several times, but I don't want to risk something like this happening again.
Thank you, everyone, for all your support and advice!