My girlfriend(F23) has started to get angry with me (M22) because I am not putting enough effort into the relationship?
I apologize if my wording is wrong, English is not my first language.
Also, this is a bit wordy, so if you would like to jump straight to the problem without reading the background, please scroll down to the " --------------------------------- ", what I need help with is after that.
for a bit of context:
Me(M22) and my girlfriend (F23) have been dating for almost 10 months. We both are college students, I am currently not working and am focusing on academics and trying to find an internship (im majoring in computer science so finding one right now is pretty difficult). I am also Diagnosed with ADHD and am trying to take prescription medications to help me with focusing. She is majoring in biology and is also working at the same time. We both live with our parents, and my parents are decently strict, so its difficult to go out outside of school times since they want me to focus on my studies and stuff, hers are not as strict as mine, but still don't mind her having a boyfriend and me coming over from time to time.
our relationship has been pretty good, we don't ever go to bed without saying "I love you" and we always make sure to uplift each other and give each other reassurance.
she has done some amazing stuff for me such as:
- Organized a surprise birthday party for me and invited all my friends by finding their Instagram and messaging them (This was big for me because I have never celebrated my birthday)
- Makes sure I am ok every time I get a rejection from an internship I applied too
- Respecting all my friends and never controls me
I also do pretty good stuff for her, such as:
- Staying up on call with her because she is having period cramps or is having a bad day (even though, I know if I get caught by my parents, they will get very angry)
- Lying to my parents/skipping hangouts with my friends to hangout with her (because of my strict parents, I don't get many days I can go out without my parents getting suspicious, so I would rather spend them with her)
- buying her gifts and constantly reminding her how good she looks, or how perfect she is
- Never have gotten angry or frustrated at her
- And so much more.
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However, recently I have noticed that she is getting angry at me more often, and its mostly because I "make her feel like I am taking her for granted" or "I don't plan dates that much", and this just started recently, for the first 5-6 months of our relationship we never had issues like that. Sometimes she just gets angry at me randomly. Its pretty easy to tell when she is angry because she will only text in one word replies (usually her texting is pretty energetic) and in person, she will not be as touchy/talkative as she usually is. When I notice these and ask her what is wrong, she always says "im fine" or "nothings wrong" until I have to ask and say sorry a few times, then she tells me, and most of the time its about me not putting enough effort or me not being nice to her? here are some of our recent arguments:
We were both at the gym, and she was at another area doing cardio and her bracelet falls into one of the machines (We were able to get it back) and she comes up to me to tell me, and I tell her "you can go to the front desk, I'm sure they can help you out", she got mad at me because I did not stop my workout and go with her to get some help to get her bracelet back, She left the gym without saying bye and texted me that she thinks I am not being nice to her, or don't liker her. I felt bad, and said sorry a ton of times and how I didn't mean it that way. So I left the gym and took her to a quiet place and talked to her (I had to skip a few of my classes), she started feeling better and told me "I cant stay mad at you when you are here with me" and we both apologized to each other. We later went out for food, and I saw her phone and she had texted one of her female friends during the situation about how she "hates me", but then the rest of the texts said everything was ok, that did make me feel kind of bad, but I hate arguing so I didn't say anything.
a friend of ours told her how he invited a girl over and made her food, and this made her upset with me because she thought I didn't actually like her, I took her for granted, or I don't plan any dates. It is pretty difficult for me to plan dates since again I have to lie to my parents or stay after my classes, but I still try my best to plan things, but most of the time she has planned things. A couple hours after her not taking to me and Me apologizing countless times, she texted me saying she is sorry and still thinks Im perfect.
This happened 3 hours ago. Last night she texted she got her period, and I made sure to reassure her over text, despite me having early morning classes, I stayed up late because she was having trouble sleeping because of cramps. Today, I had classes all day and she had work, she is currently texting in one word answers, because she said I didn't come meet her before my classes like I said the day before. I have not texted her much either because this usually happens when she has her period, where she gets angry at me for a few hours then everything is ok
I really do love her, I haven't ever been with someone as nice as her or as pretty as her, and she has been the only girl who I dated that I genuinely see a future with, but I really don't like how these arguments are happening and Its out of my control, since I do things that I don't think are that bad but then she takes it the wrong way and my whole day gets ruined. what is happening.