I saw something on my boyfriend’s phone
Today, my boyfriend was on his phone and he had his home screen open where you could see the apps he’s got on his phone. I glanced over when he was on it (we are quite open with our phones) and I could see he had a secure folder app. I need an advice on how to approach him about this…I’m so anxious and don’t know what to do. He’s never given me any reason to think that he’s cheating, he is very loving and kind person and treats me well but this folder now has put doubts in my head…
UPDATE: First of all, wow guys, I didn’t think this post will get this much attention. Thanks to everyone who took their time to give very useful advice and share some of their stories, I love it!!! I apologise I can’t respond to everyone as I’m working today but I have read all the comments. Anyway, I know people have said I should leave it and it is none of my business but I do think in a relationship, it’s fine to talk about things especially cause we are living together, share finances and a mortgage together so having a healthy communication, I think, is a key. And I totally ignored the comments saying “time to go”. I wouldn’t walk away from an amazing relationship just because my partner has a secure folder!!! Anyway, I couldn’t leave it just because I have been in a similar situation before with previous partner where I saw a secure folder and it was full of nudes from ex girlfriends and current girls he was talking to at the time, basically cheating. So yes, I have some trauma from it but I’m certainly not trying to use it as an excuse for the way I felt when I saw the secure folder. It definitely made me think of my past experiences but I didn’t let it fill me with anger and doubts but it did make me feel a bit anxious and maybe insecure. So I took some of you guys’ advice and decided to talk to him about it. I approached it in a very calm manner and just said “Hey listen, the other day when you were browsing through your phone, I saw you had a secure folder. I did panic at the moment and never mentioned anything cause I wanted to take the time to think about it and process the situation. It definitely made me feel a bit anxious and I started to overthink it. I’m not saying that you are cheating, I don’t want you to feel like I’m accusing you of anything, I just figured I should express to you how it made me feel instead of keeping it for myself as I know it would have made me feel worse and I wouldn’t be myself. It’s okay if you decided to not tell me and keep it for yourself, I wouldn’t want to invade your privacy, and I’m fine with it”. He kinda laughed at me for being so worried about it and appreciated that I decided to talk to him (as we both believe that when something is bothering us, we should talk about it and our relationship has definitely gotten better because of it). He told me it was porn like random videos he is into and likes to go back to watch sometimes and it’s also things he would like to try with me like some of his fantasies. He offered to show me but I told him that I don’t need to see it, it’s his own private stuff and I 100% trust him. So another question…is it weird that he keeps porn videos on his phone? Do many guys do it? I mean I’m fine with him watching porn, I guess most men do, I do it too sometimes, it’s not a big deal. Also I knew it wasn’t my nudes that he is keeping there as I know he’s got them in his gallery in a separate album.