how come i feel like a joke?

yeah whatever it’s soppy but i just feel like an absolute joke. every single thing someone says to me joke or not i take it to heart and get completely worked up about it. one of my mates comments saying i look like a jock with my varsity jacket on or ed sheeran with my red and black jacket on and i’ve never worn it since. i try and stay neutral in arguments and be the mediator and i always end up losing one friend, then get took the piss out of for saying i get caught in the middle of stuff. my feelings constantly get disregarded by other people, a colleague talks down to me at work like i’m a piece of shit. i just don’t know what ti do anymore. i’m well aware i’m a 19yo who still binges fallout games and spends obscene amounts on lego but whatever. idk what to change.