AITAH for setting boundaries because of my agoraphobia?

Throwaway because my other account is used for commission work.

So I’m relatively new to having agoraphobia. I’ve not been officially diagnosed by the doctor due to the crippling state of the UK healthcare system- especially for mental health- especially for men’s mental health.

But it’s obvious I’ve got it.

I haven’t left the house for longer than an hour since October 2024, and I haven’t left the house point blank since before Christmas. I can’t. I won’t.

Now I’ve never had a good relationship with my parents, especially my step-mum. We’re talking about the woman who told me I was attention seeking when I told her “I’m su*cidal and need help”.

But that was years ago, and although we’ve been low contact since I moved out, we’ve been on better terms.

She knows I’m going through this, and in a moment of desperation, I asked her for help. I had no food in the home, and the only money I had was in cash- so I couldn’t order anything in.

I simply asked if she could pick up like 4-5 things and I’d give her the cash at the door. Her business is around the corner from my home so it wouldn’t be out of her way.

Originally she said yes, and we worked out a time and a date etc. but when it came to the morning of when she was supposed to come round, she asks me to come with her. “Can you come with me in the car? We can stop off at the coffee drive through and I’ll put £10 towards your shopping”.

Wtf.

I politely declined, thanked her for her offer, and explained what my boundaries were and why I had them. No biggie right? Wrong.

This led to her telling me I was dramatic, giving me attitude, guilt tripping me because I’m not visiting my grandma (why by the way my step mum doesn’t even like), and so on so forth.

I ended up telling her not to come round, and that I would sort it out myself.

I don’t know what I did wrong? What did I say that was so offensive to her? Why is my mental health either not important, inconvenient or just simply offensive to her?

Not to mention, she said “everyone’s been talking, everyone’s worried, everyone has their opinions. But no one will talk to you because this is how you act”.

Explaining my boundaries? Politely declining? Offering to just sort out something else as not to be an inconvenience? How is that me acting out?

I’m literally a nineteen year old mentally ill guy living with his fiancé with no financial support or mental health care. I’m not trying to excuse myself from responsibility, but I think I’m doing pretty damn well considering the circumstances.

Any tips on how to navigate this situation are welcome, or any agoraphobia guidance in general.