Hi

I’m happy to have found this community! I’m definitely part of the 4B movement. I’m single, a virgin, and don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. I’ve never dated and don’t intend to. While I find myself attracted to men, I have no desire to engage in sex. I chalk it up to my autism and sex-repulsion, but sometimes I can’t help feeling a little sad about it.

I’m 22, and honestly, I don’t feel like I’m missing out when it comes to sex. I enjoy masturbating and can bring myself to orgasm just fine. (I also have vaginal stenosis, so intercourse would be incredibly painful for me anyway.) Still, the idea of sex with men—specifically sexual intercourse—feels degrading to women. I don’t know why, but the thought of a penis anywhere near me just feels so… icky.

Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like my view of sex is so warped. I want to have a good, fulfilling sex life—with myself, on my own terms—but I’m not sure how to navigate these feelings.

Though being single can feel lonely, I’m content. I work at a convent and find the nuns inspiring—they live with purpose and faith, creating a strong, supportive community. Whether religious or not, it’s refreshing to see women thriving together without men, even in a context some might view as patriarchal. (We all have our own beliefs about God and the afterlife, and that’s okay…)